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In This Article:
- Why "always" can be powerful—or harmful—depending on how it's used
- The danger of using “never” in personal affirmations
- How language shapes your subconscious beliefs and future outcomes
- Real-life examples of using positive language to shift relationships
- How to consciously rewrite your internal script for empowerment
Always and Never: Powerful Words to Use or Not Use
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com
These two words, always and never, may be among the most powerful in the English language. Why? Because our words hold power—they help shape our present and future realities. Using terms that so definitely define something as permanent creates a block or closed door to whatever is or could be ahead of us on our path.
The only time I advise using always is for something that you are sure is something you definitely desire. For example, “I am always safe,” “I am always on the right path,” or “I am always being guided by my inner wisdom.”
In these cases, always is a powerful tool helping to block out doubts, fears, and troubling imaginings. As for the term never, since it would be affirming something you don’t want and thus creating an image in your mind of that very thing, it is best not to use it. For example, let’s say you affirm “I never get sick.” In this instance, your mind envisions or imagines “being sick.” That is the image or description that is being sent to your mind… thus not the one you would consciously choose to create.
Best to affirm, I am always healthy, or if that’s too much for you to reach for at the moment, then, I am getting healthier day by day.
How We Typically Use Always
However, our typical use of the word always can be negative or not life-affirming. For example, you might say something like “I’m always late,” or “I’m always distracted,” or some other situation. Again, what this does is program your brain with the image of “late” or “distracted,” etc. Rather, it is best to use the actual positive outcome we seek, such as “on time,” “focused,” etc. Using the term always for a positive outcome is more than wishful thinking -- it is visualizing and empowering the outcome you desire.
However, using always with some habit or situation that you would prefer to change or let go of becomes somewhat like a curse.
Watch What You Say
Which brings up another thought. There’s a common expression in the language of “G*d damn!” This is a powerful expression that is used for literally damning effects. The words that come out of your mouth are commands or requests to the Universe (or God, or Spirit, or Higher Self, or whatever other term you’re comfortable with using). So when you blurt out “G*d damn” you are requesting that very thing. Not what you had in mind, I’m sure. Best to say nothing, or to say God bless, or God help me, or some other expression that is more in keeping with the outcome you desire.
Always and Never in Conversation
Another use of the word always or never is when we speak of others, as in “he never takes out the garbage,” or “she never picks up after herself,” etc. Again, this is first of all probably not absolutely true as it’s probably not “always” or “never” as there are usually exceptions to the rule. But the most important reason not to use that expression in these situations is that, there again, you are placing a request with the Universe.
A Loving and Supportive Universe
Our words and thoughts are “commands” or requests to a loving Universe or Creator or even simply our Inner Self. So if you say that someone always or never does something, that is the statement you are projecting into the future. That is the reality that you are empowering.
I remember many years ago, while I was still with my first husband, that there was a situation where his behavior was, I felt, not supportive of me. I don’t even remember what it was exactly anymore, but I do remember the process I used to change my reality. Every time I would catch myself thinking or saying that he wasn’t being supportive, I would rephrase that to “he is very supportive of me.” After a while of changing my thoughts and attitude, lo and behold, his behavior started to change. Rather than being insensitive to my needs, he was present and open and loving.
Did I change him? Or did I only change my perception of his attitude and behavior? Frankly, I don’t know. But what I do know is that as I worked on my expectations and beliefs, the reality of what I was experiencing changed.
I’ve also used this process in letting go of old grievances. The relationship with someone whom I had once been close to had deteriorated to one phone call a year… just fulfilling the “obligation” of staying in touch. As I worked on changing my expectations and letting go of my resentment over past events, all of a sudden he started calling every few months to check on how I was doing. Again… what changed? All I can say for sure is that my attitude and my expectations changed.
Beware of Permanence
Nothing in our lives is etched in stone. Behaviors, thoughts, attitudes, actions—all can change, and they do if we are willing to let that happen. The first step is to watch our words and our thoughts. Be careful of always and never being used for anything in your life that is not in harmony with what you’d like… as in, he never calls, I'm always late, etc.
Now you might say, but that’s the truth. Well, maybe, but it’s nly true in the past. The present and the future have not yet happened. And when you make a statement about “always” or “never” you are creating or writing the script for the future.
Our Power Is Within Us
Our power to change our present and our future lies within us. The images we create in our mind are the possibilities we are giving power to. The images we keep focusing on are the ones we are feeding with our energy. The energy we hold in our heart is the energy that will help create the life we desire… so let’s focus on removing “never” from our choice of words and expectations, and use "always" very judiciously… only when it is supportive of the future we desire.
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal empowerment, and inner well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of love. joy, and creativity.
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Article Recap:
This article explores how commonly used words like “always” and “never” influence our mindset and reality. It emphasizes mindful speech and offers practical ways to use language to support growth, healing, and positive transformation.
#powerofwords #positiveaffirmations #mindfullanguage #innergrowth #selfempowerment #languagehealing #innerselfcom
